[The Concert Of More Than 15 Years Ago] 15年以上も前の演奏会

Drawing Practice: "Strangers in Plymouth MI"

Frans Bruggen was a good conductor. I only have been in his concert once, and I was sitting in the middle of the very first row of the seats. I remember hearing him breath in order to take the tempo or give cues to the players. To be honest I was not so much moved by the performance on that day. My ear was too immature to appreciate his music. I preferred thicker and more huge sound just like the symphonies of Mahler or Bruckner, to this small size orchestra comprised of period instruments.

Then why am I writing about him and his orchestra (The Orchestra of the 18th Century)? It's because of the fact that the music on that day still remains in my head even more than 15 years have passed. I can even hear the sound I heard on that day - how the air had been vibrated with the sound coming from the musical instruments. I can still feel how the floor and the walls of the concert hall was shaking during the performance. The sound I was hearing in that particular concert hall became more enjoyable and meaningful to my ears of today.

Although Bruggen died in 2014 at age 80, the music still remains in my head as if it's still being played right now. This makes me think a lot more than what's happening.

[Sketch Practice] スケッチの練習

I wanted to draw this picture for fun just because I like the view of the harbor and the land across the sea over there. There is a building that looks like a fish market where there are 3 boats. Looks like Kesennuma, but it is not. I like this view anyway.

This is also only a drawing practice I drew some place that is within 40 minutes' drive from here. Not a good one. I feel I want to try one more time... I love the place around here. I never get tired of being there while seeing the houses, stores, trees, or the people in streets.

These characters brings me back to my very old days. I used to draw these things when I was 7 or 8 years old. I was always doing this at both school and home. I remember I had been a boy who didn't speak a word with people, but when I turned a 3rd grader I suddenly began talking a lot.

On the way back home from our drive a few weeks ago, we saw a coyote in the field that ran towards where we were driving and crossed right in front of us. I don't want any of these fellows to attack on my cat. My cat is an indoor cat but it's kind of scary when I think about my cat getting outside by accident.

Here are some some other famous anime characters I wanted to practice drawing.

駅伝、数学、そしてランボー "Ekiden" Running Race, Math, and Rimbaud

日曜日の朝、気がつくと猫が私に乗っかってくる。朝以外に猫が私の上に乗ったりすることはない。これはうちの猫の日課である。

猫は時計の読み方を知らない。しかし、猫は体内に時計を持っていて、それに基づき行動しているフシがある。

先週金曜日、私は職場の駅伝大会に参加した。個人の記録的には、去年よりも30秒ほどタイムを縮めることができた。それが何よりも私にはうれしかった。天気がとても良く、暖かくて、観衆の数も多かった。

スタート30分前に、準備運動として、１．４マイル(２．２Ｋｍ)ほどメンバーの仲間と一緒に走った。これで体がほぐれたように思う。また、この一年、週に二、三回は、職場地下のフィットネスジムで走る等を心がけてきた。

０．７マイル（１．１Ｋｍ）の距離を走るのに4分30秒というのは、一般的に大した成績でないかもしれぬ。しかし、40歳台も半ばに入り、1年間で自己タイムを30秒縮めたことで、これからも頑張ろうと自分に言い聞かせられてうれしい。

ここでの駅伝は、8人で1チームの競技であるが、同じ部署のメンバーらとタスキを渡して走るという競技は、やってみると、チームワークの美しさや楽しさが分かる。成績は39チーム中、9位であったが、決して悪くはない。（他の同僚らが走りが得意で、それに私の遅さをカバーしてもらった。）

土曜日は、ユークリッド(Euclid)の著した幾何学の古典『エレメント』を私は読んでいた。それを読むのに疲れると私はTECHNICAL COLLEGE SERIES NATIONAL CERTIFICATE 'MATHEMATICS'のページをめくった。

理由が自分にははっきり分からないが、数学の問題をやるとアルチュール・ランボー(Arthur Rimbaud)の詩集が読みたくなる。特に、彼の後期の作品集『イルミナシオン』は、数式のような、そうじゃないような不思議な思いに囚われる。(それにつけても、"Illuminations"という字づら、その響きが脳裏にうつす投影のなんという鮮やかさ！）

日本で仕事をしていた頃をふと思い出す。CATIA (3D CADソフト)のMold Tooling Designのワークベンチで作業していた時だったが、ピンやプレートがあって、そこにはルールがいくつもあった。そうした各コンポーネントの関係性を見るにつけ、やはりなぜだか分からないけれど、私はバッハの音楽を何度となく連想したのだった。

詩や音楽を連想しながら仕事をするのは、良い兆候だと、私の直感は教える。
それは辛い日常を紛らすべく音楽に逃避する、というのとは真逆の現象である。

群馬県に所在する客先には週に二、三日の頻度で訪問した。
CATIAを使って仕事した最初である。あの時は1から手取り足取り当時リーダーをされていた方から教わった。毎日自分が何かを学び取っていて、成長しているのが、はっきり体で分かった。帰りの電車内で、自分は静かに感動していた。

この時における連日の感動こそが、その後に別の場所で経験した辛さとかパワハラとかを何とか乗り越えられ、さらに躍進できた要因の一つであったのだと今になって私は思う。

群馬県でのホテル滞在、チームでの食事、銭湯で汗を流す等を通じて、仕事を頑張った。

焦ったりイライラしたり、真冬なのに緊張して汗流したり、ノートPCを毎日バックパックで担いで肩凝ったり、世間話したり、そうやって仕事をしていたわけだ。仕事を通じた青春と呼べるものがあるとすれば、この時だったと私は思う。私は当時すでに三十代半ばを過ぎており、日本の常識では「青春」とは言えないのかもしれないけれど。

あれから7年ぐらいが経った。

時間の経過と、回想する現時点の自分とを直截に繋ぐこの「何か」を意識した時、ふと考える。
少なくとも過去とを行き来するタイムマシーンは、脳内における記憶の操作で可能だったりして、とか夢想したり。

ところで、この日曜日の夕方は、いつものように日曜の夕方らしかった。

私にとっての日曜の夕方は、サリーン市街地に向かうミシガン通りの光景である。
交通量のまばらさと、傾いた西日と、閑散としたような99セント店の駐車場と。


シャルル・デュトワ指揮、モントリオール交響楽団によるベルリオーズ『幻想交響曲』をたまたまYouTubeで聴いた。1楽章のはじめの数分を聴き、オーケストラの響きだけで、今までに感じたことのない感動で心が震えた。この曲で涙を流しそうになるほどの感覚に陥ったことはそれまでなかった。楽器から発する音それ自体が美しいのみならず、それが心の琴線に触れ、エモーショナルにさせるというのは、録音の魔術であるのか、演奏の魔術なのか、作曲者の魔力であるのか。

Reflection Along with the Music, Movies, and Novels

Came back home nearly 10pm today. Ate dinner and then played with my cat. The first page on the Internet browser made me feel refreshed.

“Outrage” directed by Takeshi Kitano was very impressive among the movies I watched for the last couple of months. Miura’s acting intriguing most among the other actors. That is politics, the things taking place from the beginning till the end.

These guys are all bad and realistic (if not real)

I am listening to Sibelius’ symphony number 3 as I am writing this post. What a pleasure this music is to my ears. His pieces are not so much dramatic like Beethoven’s or Mahler’s music. Compared to Sibelius, even Bruckner’s symphonies sound much expressive and aggressive.

It's no longer the summer sky up there

Among the seven symphonies composed by Sibelius, I love the 3^rd, 4^th, and 6^th most. I start thinking I feel so close to this composer because I was also born in the cold, norther area. His music makes me get more closed and introvert in the cold winter season. Spring comes, and there is the sound of water steams from a river. It is such an enjoyment when I feel I can see the grass grow under the chilly sky, surrounded by the mountains. This eventually makes me think that Michigan is the perfect place for me to work and live.

Illustration by Kunio Sato

I was reading a short novel, “The Restaurant of Many Orders” written by Kenji Miyazawa. I don’t know how many times my parents took me and my sister to the Kenji Museum in Hanamaki City, Iwate Prefecture. It was always a fun place every time I visited there. I had not been a passionate fan of his, but when I turned forty or so, I suddenly started to like whet he wrote. “The Restaurant of Many Orders” is even read in a Japanese elementary school class. Two gentlemen from town are walking around in the woods. They are nicely dressed and civilized. In this rural area, they are now lost the way when they come across this strange restaurant. "Plump parties and young parties especially welcome." People living on the IT (including myself) should be like these fellows. Be aware so we won’t be cooked and get frightened unexpectedly.

Windshield view when driving the suburbs of Ann Arbor

This coming Friday I will be running for the Ekiden (駅伝), a relay running race. Thirty-nine teams are registered. I will be running 0.7 mile. I hadn’t run at all for decades until I started to work here. But I now enjoy jogging 2 or 3 times a week. What a difference.

“Apple is continuing its efforts to produce a car” the news reports. “The company is still working out whether it will make a self-driving car, an electric vehicle or a combination of both.”

Downtown Plymouth, one of my most favorite weekend driving areas

Volkswagen is said to cheat on diesel emissions, and the U.S. directed to recall nearly half a million cars recall, saying the automaker illegally installed software in its diesel power vehicles to evade standards for reducing smog. 

When one tries to be more effective or capable than others, or to stick to the rules regulations (in a wrong way), we may likely get caught by this type of trap. We people of the IT era in the 21^st century might also be sharing this risk every day. The popular motto we hear such as ”Customer First”, “Safety First”, or “Family Oriented” can bring us to the opposite side without knowing it. Just like the two sides of a coin. For some reason, this idea kind of reminds me of the Heart Sutra (般若心経), saying that form is emptiness, while emptiness is form. Form does not differ from emptiness, while emptiness does not differ from form.

Hello Kitty and BS Domo-kun are the 2 major J characters I often see

And then I think about the Sibelius’ symphonies. Now I am listening to the 4th Symphony. Branches are cut off from music, and the air comes in to fill the remaining symbolic notes that are hanging.

[The Music That Transcends The Time and Space - The Music by Toru Takemitsu] 時と場所を超える音楽 ‐ 武満徹の音楽

Sometimes I feel the time and space are one perception concentrated into a single dimension, or transcends the dimension of time and space, especially when I hear the music composed by Toru Takemitsu (武満徹, 1930 - 1996).


Here is "Family Tree (系図)" composed by Toru Takemitsu (Poems written by Shuntaro Tanikawa)

I love this composer... His music brings back to my old memories... I remember having the same impression 20 some years ago when I was a student... I feel his music transcending the time and space every time I think about it... I am no musical expert or anything but his music (not only this particular piece) appeals to me somewhere very deep inside... something that I have had since when I was 5 years old or something... "A String Around Autumn", for example, always reminds me of the time and moment when my grandmother (who died 25 years ago) took me out for a walk to a riverside one Sunday evening... The sight that I had perceived thru the 5-year-old's eyes still remains even if this little boy is now over 40 years old...

This kind of music can be called a "beauty", if beauty is something that touches our heart and makes us amazed over the decades. For instance, it is something that connects the 5-year-old and 20-year-old with the 40-some-year-old human individual, to share the emotions they possess across the time.

[Reflections: Four+ Years After the 3/11 Tsunami] 3.11津波から4年余りが経ってから振り返ること

I spoke with my mom in Japan over the telephone last weekend. She lives in Kesennuma, one of the most severely damaged areas by the tsunami on 3/11/2011. She said that about 80% of all vehicles on the roads are sand carrying trucks or construction vehicles. More than 4 years have passed since the disaster, but what she said to me that time was that there are reconstruction jobs still going on, trying to make the ground higher. She then said that by the time this city would be restored she would already be dead and wouldn't be able to see the completion. Things are progressing so slow, she said. School playgrounds are still full of temporary housing. It has been said that public apartments would be built, but, according to what my relative said, there is no such things built yet. This eventually means that school kids cannot play soccer or baseball in the ground. Just hearing of it made me feel sad. The house I grew up in was washed away. All are gone. I couldn’t even see the roads or anything around there when I visited there in 2012. Two relatives were found dead in their home soon after the tsunami. One died a year after that. One has been missing. His body had not been found but a funeral was conducted for him some months after that. My aunt was working near the fish market that was facing the bay. At the time of tsunami, she climbed up on the top of the building with other colleagues. They climbed even more using the ladder. There was a small space added to the top floor. She said she didn’t want to climb because it was very scary. She said she would rather die, saying it was her fate. The sea in front of them was on fire all over. Oil had already leaked out into the sea to make the entire surface around them look like the sea of fire. My aunt was forced to climb up. She later said to me that it was so hot because of the blazing fire on the sea. She said that heat made her feel very scared while enduring it. Men broke vending machines to take out juice to share for the next couple of days. My parents were in this city, too. Normally, my mother was to go to the bank near the sea, but for some reason she didn’t go there. My father was working in his workplace that was on the high land. My other relatives evacuated to higher places, and they ended up being safe. List of the dead was broadcasted on TV, and there was my sister’s name. But a couple days later it turned out that it was somebody else. Phones were out of connection for some days, until only one company cellphone from “au” became available to communicate during that system confusion. I was able to speak with an employee in the Hokkaido office of my father’s company. She explained to me that my father contacted them and asked them to carry necessary items to Kensennuma using their trucks. My father took the warmth using a power generator. That was not a common item in Japan. One grocery store owner in Akita Prefecture asked the employees of my father to go to their store by truck to take anything they needed in the store. U.S. military arrived and gave them helping hands. Many people from many places in the world visited there to help the locals in Kesennuma. My shirts and pants were donated to the evacuation camp in the nearby junior high school. The house my parents lived (and still lives) was safe.  

On the phone of last weekend, I heard my aunt, whom I described earlier here, is suffering from the pain of cancer. It has spread various places in her body now, and I heard she could not sleep because of the pain. I could only pray for her, so the pain would be eased. I do hope she would not have to suffer so much. I did jogging that evening, and was always thinking about her. Jogging has been a good method of meditation for me. In 50 years, almost all the people I know (parents, brothers, sisters, coworkers, bosses, librarians, store clerks, restaurant waiters, bloggers, YouTubers, police officers, etc.) should already be dead, and they don’t even care how I was like. Rumors and misunderstanding are all gone. Comes to think of it, like my mom has been saying these days, we should just enjoy the life, do what we want to do, and get along with who we feel are pleasant to be with. Don’t get upset or angry more than we should. – I then start remembering the 3 statues on the desk of a social worker at a welfare facility. My wife and I saw that about 10 years ago when we went there to apply for the welfare support. We were in financial difficulty. Our daughter was about to graduate from kindergarten. Many things happened even after that. We had moved to Japan. I had been working in warehouses, factories, or construction sites, until I got a chance of working with CATIA. I started to learn about IT and many other things. I had so many experiences during those years. That is thanks to the leader who took care of me when we worked in the same project. We built a method of plastic mold designing process in CATIA. We went to the customer site in Gunma Prefecture 2 or 3 times a week. We stayed in the same hotel, had dinner together, and rode the same train on the way back home. He said to me, “Don’t think everybody is kind. There are mean jerks everywhere. You should be grateful people working with us in this project are all nice and kind. This is the perfect condition you can learn things while working with CATIA.”  It was true. I realized that I was getting much better each day. After that project was over, I moved to other location to work as a CATIA supporter. I learned so many good things through work, although I had to be troubled by a mean fellow, who locked me up in a small room for 2 hours to give me harsh words. I knew I could be better than him if I keep enduring that situation for 2 years or so, while I encountered many good people to build connections. - My patience was rewarded now.

From the Book of Ecclesiastes:

"To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;
 A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 A time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
 A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;[…]"

At the Sotochu temple in Kesennuma, the priests recited Shushogi for us while we were seated. That scripture is still kept here in my house in Michigan. I wanted to read those verses further. I was copying the sutra on paper and this is my favorite part. 

From Shushogi (修証義) 
"Impermanence is unreliable; we know not on what roadside grasses the dew of our transient life will fall. Our bodies are not our own; our lives shift with the passing days and cannot be stopped for even an instant. Once rosy-cheeked youth has gone, we cannot find even its traces. Careful reflection shows that most things, once gone by, will never be encountered again. In the face of impermanence, there is no help from kings, statesmen, relatives, servants, spouses, children, or wealth. We must enter the realm of death alone, accompanied only by our good and bad karma. Avoid associating with deluded people in this world who are ignorant of the truth of causality and karmic retribution, who are heedless of past, present and future, and cannot distinguish good from evil. The principle of causality is obvious and impersonal; for inevitably those who do evil fall, and those who do good rise. If there were no causality, the buddhas would not have appeared in this world, nor would Bodhidharma have come from the west."

I have recently been thinking about this aunt in a hospital bed, while thinking of my parents, old friends, relatives, and my grandparents who have already been dead for decades.

I love the views and natural settings here in Michigan. I also like the work environment so much. This great condition is something I had never had before. I love weekend driving. Jogging around my house is such a pleasure to me. I love the morning and afternoon skies. The beauty of the evening sky of summer is beyond description. Bruckner’s symphonies or Beethoven’s 6^th touches my heart in different ways as how it had sounded like.

I thought of “Kitchen” written by Banana Yoshimoto. The happy feelings under the transient condition life are depicted throughout the story.

My mother said to me: "We don’t want to just put things back as how they were. The people of the next generation have to rebuild different things or styles, so they with live differently. That’s what evolution is all about. It’s no use repeating the same way as how we have lived. It is going to be just choking them if they have to stick to the old ways. That is why we old people are to die, and younger generations can go on living."

Memorial Day Run 2015

Participated the 5K run for the Memorial Day Run in Novi, MI, on 5/25

走ることが私の日常の一部分になったのは最近のことである。私は長い距離を走るのが元来嫌いであった。小学校の長距離走大会が私に悪い印象を植え付けた。爾来、半マイル以上を走ることをしないまま成人し、中年になったのである。

今の職場の今の部署に働き始め、私は部署対抗の駅伝大会に出ることを勧められた。去年の秋のことだった。私は断り続けたが、私の同僚の一人はどうしても参加させたがっている。彼は地元ミシガンの大会のみならず、ボストンマラソンやロサンゼルスマラソンにも参加する、大の走り好きである。

正直走りに少しの興味はあった。健康の向上意識もあった。ただチームの順位を著しく下げることには不安があった。自分の部署は参加辞退をした。その後、別の部署で飛び入り参加を激しく募集していた。歩きに近い走りでも何でもいい、というのであった。同僚もその部署チームに入るという。私も参加することにした。

毎日昼休み、同僚は私を特訓してくれた。会社の敷地内を1マイルかそれ以上、一緒に走った。息が切れるし、早くなど走れぬ。「走りきることが重要です」と彼は言った。「走りきる」という言葉の意味は、へとへとでゴールインするのではなく、最も力を出した状態でゴールラインを抜けることを謂うのである。

練習は昼にとどまらない。夕方も練習した。その甲斐あって、恥ずかしくないタイムを記録した。「走り抜ける」こともできた。仕事以外でのチームワークを発揮する楽しさが分かった点で有意義であった。３８チーム（部署）が参加したうち、我々の順位は18位ぐらいだったと思う。

以来、私は会社のフィットネス・ジムにもよく通うようになった。暖かい季節になれば外を走る。

会社の駅伝大会から数か月がたった。寒い冬が終わって、緑の生うる初夏が来た。メモリアルデー記念の大会がNovi市で開催されることを同僚が私に知らせた。これは一般の催しものであるから会社は関係ない。私はプライベートでこっそり参加申し込みをし、大会当日は早起きし、Ann ArborからNoviに車を飛ばしたのである。

会場で私は準備運動をし、軽いウォームアップを始めた。そこへ大きな声で私に声掛けする者がいた。私の同僚であった。しばしの会話をした。彼は最初のプログラム１０Kを走るべく、さっそくスタート地点に向かった。

私は５K（5 Km）に参加したのである。全体で１４２位。年齢別（４０－４５歳）で９位という結果であった。結果はさておき、非常に楽しいイベントであった。同じ会社の人たち数人と会った。走る人のとても多い職場だと思った。別部署または別地位の方々と仕事等の会話だと盛り上がりにくいが、運動の話題ができるということで良いことだと思う。